Week 1: The Startup of You Readings and Starting an Entrepreneur Journal
This week as I read the readings, I couldn't help but feel love from my Heavenly Father who guided me to this class and place in my life. The idea of "The Startup of You" and going down a path to figure out who I am and what my goals and talents are, is exactly what I need right now in my life.
A year ago, I realized and finally admitted to myself how badly I wanted to be a medical doctor, but had always held myself back from fully committing to this desire because "Moms don't become doctors". But I felt God instilling me with the confidence I needed to pursue it and my husband was supportive, even though I had just found out I was pregnant with my sixth baby in 7 years. I got my degree in Marriage and Family Studies back in July 2012 from BYU-Idaho when my oldest child was 9 months old and so I started going online for Anatomy and the lab as well as Abnormal Psych. I did this feeling in my bones how right it was for me, and got all A's in my classes in Winter Semester as I took those 3 classes. But during the semester, some things started occurring to me about this path and myself and after some hard weeks of back and forth, I decided to stop pursuing medical school as I realized what appealed to me about being a doctor wasn't to practice medicine, but were some other factors, such as being the boss, managing a team, and helping women and children. I realized that when my husband talks about his career as a Physician Assistant that I don't think what he does all day is really what I want.
This was a really hard couple of months for me as I felt like I was going AWOL from God's plans for me and felt lost and confused about my life journey and mission. I started finding peace about it and realized how much I had gained from the 9 months I was 100% pursuing this path of medical school and how much confidence in myself as a woman and mom I had gained, and how much it had helped my marriage as I advocated for myself and women in my mind, but also as we took a hard look at traditional gender and family roles with our plan of me going to school so intensely for the next decade and a half, and him taking a more central role in our family. I was all set up to receive the mental and emotional guidance I felt God gave me with the birth of my son in June. (I often feel like God gives me a gift with the birth of my child in some form. Such as joy, life guidance, an increase to some capacity in my abilities or characteristics). The week after he was home some random YouTube videos came up for me of some very successful business women in the world, namely Kendra Scott and the woman who started SPANX. I was very inspired by their stories and who they are as women and what they stand for. I started feeling really drawn to the business world, which is something I have never explored, much less considered, for myself career wise. But I had also been reading some books that were super positive and encouraging about women pursuing their own dreams outside of motherhood, and investing in myself and the callings I feel from God.
As I started really looking at myself in this light, I started realizing some dreams I have had all along totally fall in line with business plans, I had never realized that's what I had been doing though. Dreaming up business plans for different pursuits and strategizing about what could or could not work in a certain area were things I did for years without realizing it. And as I really pondered on if this is where my gifts lie, not just my interests, I felt God teaching me little things about myself in the shower every once in a while. One day I would realize where I was going wrong in dreaming about a career, but then one day I would suddenly feel God put into my mind what one of my gifts was with how I think or how I look at things in my life. I started gaining traction in seeing this may actually be the path I should go, even though I have thought for YEARS that medical was the right direction for me. But what I really saw in medical was safety and a clear cut plan of what to do and what that lead to. Where business has always been scary to me because it is ambiguous and not clear cut in what schooling you get and where that leads job wise. (At least from my uninformed point of view. I'm hoping taking classes will help me see this isn't as true as I think it is.)
Anyways, as I read yesterday in the readings and watched the videos, I felt touched to see how everything that has gotten me to this point was meant to be and helped me become who I need to be to start on this journey. I am beyond excited to begin the "Startup of Me" and really analyze my gifts, talents, interests, and see how I can use those to help others and find my path and meaning in life. And to really focus in and develop the characteristics of entrepreneurs. It all felt so meant to be yesterday as I read about what this class is going to help me discover and look at. Because more than anything I need direction and mentors and teachers and books that can help me see where I am lacking and what I need to work on to get where I want to go, and to realize where I want to get.
And to be honest, I was surprised at the balance in the readings that they weren't so heavy on focusing on winning and achieving and making money. They were much more about finding what is right for me and finding my "calling" in life and doing it. It's all so exciting and encouraging to hear really successful businessmen talk about finding joy in life and making family a priority in the journey, or it will mean nothing. And the devotional talk by Elder Bednar that we read was AMAZING. I printed it off and basically want to memorize it. It hit on so many things I need to work on, like learning for learning, not to prove something to someone or to get the best grade or whatever. But to really become my best self and do what God sent me here to do.
Overall, what am I most excited for in this class? To learn and to do the hard work of really looking at myself and seeing where I can be more effective in my gifts I already have, and what I can do to fill in the many holes in me that need help to get where I want. I loved reading about Risk in the readings and the different ways they talked about it and am excited to hear more about that, because I am a cautious person and need to risk more, and would love to get ideas on how to take more risks in my life and maybe see where I do take risks without realizing it (one I realized last night while reading was that we move every year or so, and that is a risk, but usually with safe guards in place, so...). I also love to hear about those who have gone on these paths before, and am excited to be exposed to more stories and examples of business and entrepreneur paths.
****
Additional Thoughts from the Entrepreneur Journal Reading:
I love how he talks about how as you start learning you'll see learning experiences everywhere to examine and learn from. It reminds me of getting a DSLR camera several years ago. Using a camera like that has since made me look at lighting more, and appreciate what cameramen are able to do in movie scenes, since I have tried in a small way and know how tricky it is to execute things so well. I imagine the more I learn about business the more I will see it in the world around me and be able to learn from every experience.
Which as I reflect on the last few months, as I have felt God teaching me things about myself, it has helped me to see them in action. Like that I am a very strategic and efficient person in the way I think. I constantly analyze situations around me for how it could be more efficient and less wasteful in it's approach, whether financially or time or energy wise. I am also really good at thinking quickly about how to do something in a way that makes sense financially and time wise. Like when we look at a vacation, within an hour or two I can tell you how much it would cost about, what the most efficient way to use our time and resources, and if needed, what plans b and c would look like. My mind races until I find solutions. Almost like those Slot machines you see in shows. They move so fast until they suddenly stop one section at a time. That's a visual way of explaining my thoughts. They race and race until I suddenly see the solution amidst the options and keep going until all of them are figured out and lined up to work with each other.
But in opposition to that, I am not very organized in my mind unless I am strategizing in some way. These processes get my blood pumping and the adrenaline flowing. But I hope to become better at organizing day to day stuff in my mind and find a way to help myself do it on paper (or in my phone or whatever). Which includes making a schedule to write in a journal such as this. He said to set a time, and I am HORRIBLE at that kind of routine, scheduled type of life stuff. In fact, for some reason, I find myself constantly keeping away from scheduling myself. I am more spontaneous in how I approach those kinds of things, which has worked for me fine enough, but I'm sure to become more organized and less schedule averse, I could be much more effective in my life.
All in all, I'm excited to work on these things, and to have this journal. I wish I would have started this before doing the readings this week, as I wish I would have taken notes from the readings. I may go back and reread and do that because I had so many thoughts and ideas as I read.
A year ago, I realized and finally admitted to myself how badly I wanted to be a medical doctor, but had always held myself back from fully committing to this desire because "Moms don't become doctors". But I felt God instilling me with the confidence I needed to pursue it and my husband was supportive, even though I had just found out I was pregnant with my sixth baby in 7 years. I got my degree in Marriage and Family Studies back in July 2012 from BYU-Idaho when my oldest child was 9 months old and so I started going online for Anatomy and the lab as well as Abnormal Psych. I did this feeling in my bones how right it was for me, and got all A's in my classes in Winter Semester as I took those 3 classes. But during the semester, some things started occurring to me about this path and myself and after some hard weeks of back and forth, I decided to stop pursuing medical school as I realized what appealed to me about being a doctor wasn't to practice medicine, but were some other factors, such as being the boss, managing a team, and helping women and children. I realized that when my husband talks about his career as a Physician Assistant that I don't think what he does all day is really what I want.
This was a really hard couple of months for me as I felt like I was going AWOL from God's plans for me and felt lost and confused about my life journey and mission. I started finding peace about it and realized how much I had gained from the 9 months I was 100% pursuing this path of medical school and how much confidence in myself as a woman and mom I had gained, and how much it had helped my marriage as I advocated for myself and women in my mind, but also as we took a hard look at traditional gender and family roles with our plan of me going to school so intensely for the next decade and a half, and him taking a more central role in our family. I was all set up to receive the mental and emotional guidance I felt God gave me with the birth of my son in June. (I often feel like God gives me a gift with the birth of my child in some form. Such as joy, life guidance, an increase to some capacity in my abilities or characteristics). The week after he was home some random YouTube videos came up for me of some very successful business women in the world, namely Kendra Scott and the woman who started SPANX. I was very inspired by their stories and who they are as women and what they stand for. I started feeling really drawn to the business world, which is something I have never explored, much less considered, for myself career wise. But I had also been reading some books that were super positive and encouraging about women pursuing their own dreams outside of motherhood, and investing in myself and the callings I feel from God.
As I started really looking at myself in this light, I started realizing some dreams I have had all along totally fall in line with business plans, I had never realized that's what I had been doing though. Dreaming up business plans for different pursuits and strategizing about what could or could not work in a certain area were things I did for years without realizing it. And as I really pondered on if this is where my gifts lie, not just my interests, I felt God teaching me little things about myself in the shower every once in a while. One day I would realize where I was going wrong in dreaming about a career, but then one day I would suddenly feel God put into my mind what one of my gifts was with how I think or how I look at things in my life. I started gaining traction in seeing this may actually be the path I should go, even though I have thought for YEARS that medical was the right direction for me. But what I really saw in medical was safety and a clear cut plan of what to do and what that lead to. Where business has always been scary to me because it is ambiguous and not clear cut in what schooling you get and where that leads job wise. (At least from my uninformed point of view. I'm hoping taking classes will help me see this isn't as true as I think it is.)
Anyways, as I read yesterday in the readings and watched the videos, I felt touched to see how everything that has gotten me to this point was meant to be and helped me become who I need to be to start on this journey. I am beyond excited to begin the "Startup of Me" and really analyze my gifts, talents, interests, and see how I can use those to help others and find my path and meaning in life. And to really focus in and develop the characteristics of entrepreneurs. It all felt so meant to be yesterday as I read about what this class is going to help me discover and look at. Because more than anything I need direction and mentors and teachers and books that can help me see where I am lacking and what I need to work on to get where I want to go, and to realize where I want to get.
And to be honest, I was surprised at the balance in the readings that they weren't so heavy on focusing on winning and achieving and making money. They were much more about finding what is right for me and finding my "calling" in life and doing it. It's all so exciting and encouraging to hear really successful businessmen talk about finding joy in life and making family a priority in the journey, or it will mean nothing. And the devotional talk by Elder Bednar that we read was AMAZING. I printed it off and basically want to memorize it. It hit on so many things I need to work on, like learning for learning, not to prove something to someone or to get the best grade or whatever. But to really become my best self and do what God sent me here to do.
Overall, what am I most excited for in this class? To learn and to do the hard work of really looking at myself and seeing where I can be more effective in my gifts I already have, and what I can do to fill in the many holes in me that need help to get where I want. I loved reading about Risk in the readings and the different ways they talked about it and am excited to hear more about that, because I am a cautious person and need to risk more, and would love to get ideas on how to take more risks in my life and maybe see where I do take risks without realizing it (one I realized last night while reading was that we move every year or so, and that is a risk, but usually with safe guards in place, so...). I also love to hear about those who have gone on these paths before, and am excited to be exposed to more stories and examples of business and entrepreneur paths.
****
Additional Thoughts from the Entrepreneur Journal Reading:
I love how he talks about how as you start learning you'll see learning experiences everywhere to examine and learn from. It reminds me of getting a DSLR camera several years ago. Using a camera like that has since made me look at lighting more, and appreciate what cameramen are able to do in movie scenes, since I have tried in a small way and know how tricky it is to execute things so well. I imagine the more I learn about business the more I will see it in the world around me and be able to learn from every experience.
Which as I reflect on the last few months, as I have felt God teaching me things about myself, it has helped me to see them in action. Like that I am a very strategic and efficient person in the way I think. I constantly analyze situations around me for how it could be more efficient and less wasteful in it's approach, whether financially or time or energy wise. I am also really good at thinking quickly about how to do something in a way that makes sense financially and time wise. Like when we look at a vacation, within an hour or two I can tell you how much it would cost about, what the most efficient way to use our time and resources, and if needed, what plans b and c would look like. My mind races until I find solutions. Almost like those Slot machines you see in shows. They move so fast until they suddenly stop one section at a time. That's a visual way of explaining my thoughts. They race and race until I suddenly see the solution amidst the options and keep going until all of them are figured out and lined up to work with each other.
But in opposition to that, I am not very organized in my mind unless I am strategizing in some way. These processes get my blood pumping and the adrenaline flowing. But I hope to become better at organizing day to day stuff in my mind and find a way to help myself do it on paper (or in my phone or whatever). Which includes making a schedule to write in a journal such as this. He said to set a time, and I am HORRIBLE at that kind of routine, scheduled type of life stuff. In fact, for some reason, I find myself constantly keeping away from scheduling myself. I am more spontaneous in how I approach those kinds of things, which has worked for me fine enough, but I'm sure to become more organized and less schedule averse, I could be much more effective in my life.
All in all, I'm excited to work on these things, and to have this journal. I wish I would have started this before doing the readings this week, as I wish I would have taken notes from the readings. I may go back and reread and do that because I had so many thoughts and ideas as I read.
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